Mommy Time

The alarm goes off at 4:28 am, and she rolls out of bed.  

Just kidding... She snoozes twice, so it's 4:46 am and she rolls out of bed.  She shuffles through the dark, using some sixth sense to avoid the cats and the random small toys on the floor on the way to the shower.  30 minutes later, she is showered and dressed, and ready for the day.  

She begins the process of waking the sleeping munchkins, a process that can take anywhere from five minutes to 20 minutes, depending on how the loves slept the night before.  After a round of bathrooming, clothing, and a breakfast snack, it is time to wrangle boots, coats, hats, and back packs.  Luckily, their gloves are attached to their coats; one less thing to find each day.  

By 6:00, she's out the door, brood in tow, and off to work.

Fast forward nine hours, she's headed off to pick up the kindergartner, and head home.  If she's lucky, there will be 20 minutes to sit with a book.  But not usually, because the loves need a snack, and their Legos, and games, and help with the dress up clothes, and their crayons....  And then it's time to start supper.  Post supper, luckily the husband does the dishes... But there's baths, and jammies, and homework, and stories to be read.  Then comes the routine of bed time, and the inevitable frustrations of the children if things aren't exactly as they are expected...  Aah... Quiet.  Nope- false alarm.  There's the super baby needing to be put back to bed.  And the doll baby needing to go potty one more time.  And having to evacuate the toy that little man snuck into bed with him...  

There's the quiet.  But, she's either too tired to do something for herself or there's too much to do to prepare for tomorrow....


Sound familiar?  There are just not enough hours in the day some days.  But it is so very important to make time to think of the mommy in you as a person.  To do something that spoils yourself just a little bit.

I've heard of getting up a little early, to take some morning time for yourself when the children are still sleeping.  Not happening around here- I have to get up early enough just to get going for the day.

I've heard of taking some time at the end of the day, after the munchkins are tucked in for the night.  But tucked in sure doesn't equal sleeping around here, and any time I start something too soon, they seem to take longer to fall asleep.  And if I wait until they are sleeping just to get started, there is so little time before I have to go to sleep too, to get up an start again the next day.

What I have learned in these last few years of being a mommy and professional caregiver of young children is that you have to make the time.  You have to say that at this time, on this day (or these days), it is MY time to think of myself first.  This was a hard realization for me.  My idea of being a good mom was to be there.  I felt like it fell to me to make sure the kids and the house and the pets and the husband and the bills and the cars and just everything was my responsibility to get taken care of.  There was no time to think of the things I might want to do, because the house needed to be cleaned.  The kids needed to be taken care of.  This appointment.  That meeting.  There was no one to take the children.  And I didn't feel right asking for a sitter just so I could do something... for me.

It was so hard to learn to say that this time was for myself.  I started small- a yoga class, one hour a week, through my local community education program.  It was heaven!  Mommy dates with the most wonderful friend I could ask for.  It was support!  Who knew that I wasn't the only one dealing with "Mommy Must Handle Everything" syndrome?  Family who would come spend time with my darlings, so the husband and I could have the (very) occasional date or night out.  It was wonderful.  And it was still hard.

It is still a struggle for me to ask for help, to make my needs known and let things go.  But I have learned how important it is.  Not only for me, but for my husband, my family, and my friends.  I am able to give better when I take for myself as well.

Find something you enjoy.  Know that there are people who are just a conversation away from being willing and able to support you in making time to yourself, to allow you to be the best parent you can be.  Take the time for yourself- and know that you are not just doing it for yourself, but that it will allow you to be a better parent to your child.  I love my yoga class- and I am able to share it not only with my children at home, but the children at the center when I am at work.  I make the time for something I love, and I am able to give back with it, to be a better parent and teacher.  If I were taking an art class, I could share that.  If I were a hiker, I could use that, to teach the children about my love for nature, and all the wonderful places I get to see.   Your hobbies are such a great place to spend time with your child, after your needs are met.  They will be interested because you are- and you will have the chance to share such a special moment with your child.

Making the time for yourself is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, your child(ren), and your spouse.  Make it mandatory, schedule a class, do something!  You are so worth it!