Scientists and Lab Rats (aka. Children and Adults)

I love science.  It is one of my favorite subjects to do with kids- especially since I have started to notice all the science opportunities that are right around us in the world every day.  My kids love to hunt for grasshoppers in our back yard, and watch the ants crawl on the sidewalks, or chase dragonflies and butterflies.  The are always interested in helping when I am working in the garden. They spend hours at our sensory table checking out the beans or rice or pasta that we keep stocked for them. They turn the lights or fans on.  And off.  And on.  And off... Just to see what happens and how long they can do it before they are told to find something else.

The kids at work like to play peek a boo.  They like to roll and shake sensory bottles.  They push over stacks of blocks or cups. They squish paint and sand and feel different fabrics. They pull the diaper cubbies out of the shelves.  They pull on the garbage cans.  Just to see what happens and how long they can do it before they are told to find something else.

I saw this poster on Facebook the other day....

Explorations Early Learning

Now, I know that this says toddlers, and I work with infants. And my kids are in first grade, preschool, and almost preschool.  But trust me, it still applies. They will do things, just to see how you will react.  And to see if you will react the same way this time as you did last time, even if they escalate their behaviors.

I know that the kids at work, and my babies at home, are not doing the things they are doing just to frustrate or upset me.  I know that.  But in the moment, it can be hard to hold on to that certainty. It can feel like a child is resisting a nap a blind person could see they need to pushing away your attempts to care for them.  A child who is pushing or taking toys from another child isn't trying to upset you- or even the other child. A baby crawling or walking or running away when they are told it is time for a diaper or bottle or food isn't saying they aren't hungry or that they don't need a fresh diaper.  

They just want to understand how we work. They want to know that we will be there to help them get the sleep they need, even when they are pushing us away. They want to know how another child will react when they learn to socialize, and in the process are learning how they should act and react as well. They want to know that you will follow through with the care they need- even when it is difficult.*

Remembering that it usually isn't personal has been a huge breakthrough for me.  Knowing that they are working hard to make sense of the world around them, makes it easier for me to remember to not get flustered, to be as consistent as I can for the littles in my care.

Babies are curious learners, and are great at cause and effect.  They are looking at you the way scientists look at the subjects of their experiments, trying to make sense out of confusion. Science is truly great... And all around us.

*Disclaimer:  There are children who will learn that specific actions on their part will stress you out, and may attempt to use that to their advantage. Good luck! :)

Fourth of July Flag Shirts!

A little late for this one, as we did it for the Fourth, but still wanted to share the fun we had.  :)

One of my mom/caregiver friends posted a picture of her littles wearing shirts she had helped them decorate with a flag- red and white stripes, with a blue handprint where the stars would go on the American flag.  So super cute!  I immediately sent the picture to my sis to see if she wanted to get together before the holiday to make shirts for all five of our sweet babes.

We collected shirts of the correct size for each child, including a onsie for my little niece who couldn't make it up to do the project with us that day, and marked out the spaces for the red stripes with painter's tape.  After sticking a piece of cardboard into the shirt, to keep the paint from transferring onto the back of the shirt, I helped the kiddos paint the red lines on their shirts.  They really enjoyed spreading the fabric paint oh the shirts!  We then each helped our own munchkins do their hand prints for the blue corner.

                 

So, so cute!  I  love the little, tiny handprints of my youngest nephew and niece, and the progression of sizes with my own kids.  They were so excited to wear their Fourth of July shirts to the parade and for the  holiday.

         
                       

When you know better, you do better

When I think of all the things I've learned about children and child development and child care in the last 20 years, it begins to overwhelm my mind.  I mean, things have changed so much, just in the last (almost) 7 years since I became a mom.  There were things that the hospital did as part of their routine newborn care that were no longer in practice when I had my second just two years later.  And in two decades of learning, there has been a lot of new information to process and include in how I do my job and how I parent my own children.

I did a lot of babysitting as a teenager.  This was a great learning opportunity, and I am grateful for the experiences and relationships I was able to form with a couple families I was with most often.

I was lucky enough to get work study in college on the on-campus child care center for my first two years of college. This was also in invaluable experience for me, as it gave me some wonderful role models for teaching, and gave me some great moments to look back on and use for future situations.

Some of the best things I learned were....

Pretty is not always the compliment it seems to be.  This one was hard for me to remember at first.  I can remember my first lead teacher, when I was a new aide, explaining to me that it was ok to skip the part of the compliment that said that something was pretty, and just compliment the part that caught my eye and made me think it was pretty.  It was ok to simply tell a little girl, "Look at the flowers on your dress!"  instead of "Your dress is so pretty with it's flowers!"  The explanation that was given was that we were moving away from using pretty/beautiful as compliments, to encourage the little girls in the classroom to hear that they were more than how they looked.

Recognizing the effort made.   This one kind of tied in with not using pretty....  To not simply tell a child "good job" on an art project or playscape (like a block tower, or play kitchen set up.)  To notice the details of what they did- the colors they used, the height of their tower, the variety of play foods selected.  These are the things that children need reinforced.  They need to know that you notice the efforts they put into their play and experiences.

Using positive guidance.  Learning to say, "Please walk, I need you to be safe" as opposed to "Don't run, you will fall" was easier for me.  Having it explained that children find it easier to understand what you want them to do instead of hearing what you don't want them to do and trying to figure out what they can/should do was so incredibly helpful for me.

Things will change, and that's ok.  Like I mentioned earlier, there were things that were standard procedures when my son was born, that were not being done when my daughter was born two years later.  And truly, that is a long time when it comes to children and development and best practices across the board.  New information is learned all the time, and things that were encouraged as the best way to care for children can become obsolete quickly.  One reason I am grateful for the continuing education that is required for my job is that I am able to choose classes that keep me as current as possible in infant care and development.  I also enjoy reading other blogs that make me think about what I do and how I care for children, to help me give them the best possible experience.

Not everyone agrees on what is best, and that's ok.  There are so many sides to every parenting and care decision out there....  No on scenario is going to be right for everyone, and that's ok.  Everyone's life experience is going to give them different insights and strategies for different situations, and this will make people disagree about what is the best way to handle things that come up when caring for children.  This is ok.  The biggest thing I learned from this is that it gives me a chance to learn something new.  I recently read aobut some different parenting philosophies that I didn't feel that I agreed with.  When I read more articles about them, I found things that agreed with what I feel is best, and some things that I agreed with that I began to add into how I care for children.

Never stop learning!  Never, never, ever!  There is so much out there.  Learn all you can, from everyone that you can.  You will get so many ideas and such enthusiasm for child care from hearing different perspectives.  And you never know what will come in handy.  :)

Keep on learning.  There is so much information available, it is insane.  Birth plans, feeding, infant hygiene, introducing solids, art experiences, large motor experiences, play time experiences, sleeping arrangements- you name it, there are a million different experiences ready to give you an option for your child.  Learn as much as you can, then pick and choose the parts of each that work best for you and your child, in your situation.  Remember, no one way is the right way.  The best way is the one that gives you, your child, and your family the most reward.

Happy learning!