When I think of all the things I've learned about children and child development and child care in the last 20 years, it begins to overwhelm my mind. I mean, things have changed so much, just in the last (almost) 7 years since I became a mom. There were things that the hospital did as part of their routine newborn care that were no longer in practice when I had my second just two years later. And in two decades of learning, there has been a lot of new information to process and include in how I do my job and how I parent my own children.
I did a lot of babysitting as a teenager. This was a great learning opportunity, and I am grateful for the experiences and relationships I was able to form with a couple families I was with most often.
I was lucky enough to get work study in college on the on-campus child care center for my first two years of college. This was also in invaluable experience for me, as it gave me some wonderful role models for teaching, and gave me some great moments to look back on and use for future situations.
Some of the best things I learned were....
Pretty is not always the compliment it seems to be. This one was hard for me to remember at first. I can remember my first lead teacher, when I was a new aide, explaining to me that it was ok to skip the part of the compliment that said that something was pretty, and just compliment the part that caught my eye and made me think it was pretty. It was ok to simply tell a little girl, "Look at the flowers on your dress!" instead of "Your dress is so pretty with it's flowers!" The explanation that was given was that we were moving away from using pretty/beautiful as compliments, to encourage the little girls in the classroom to hear that they were more than how they looked.
Recognizing the effort made. This one kind of tied in with not using pretty.... To not simply tell a child "good job" on an art project or playscape (like a block tower, or play kitchen set up.) To notice the details of what they did- the colors they used, the height of their tower, the variety of play foods selected. These are the things that children need reinforced. They need to know that you notice the efforts they put into their play and experiences.
Using positive guidance. Learning to say, "Please walk, I need you to be safe" as opposed to "Don't run, you will fall" was easier for me. Having it explained that children find it easier to understand what you want them to do instead of hearing what you don't want them to do and trying to figure out what they can/should do was so incredibly helpful for me.
Things will change, and that's ok. Like I mentioned earlier, there were things that were standard procedures when my son was born, that were not being done when my daughter was born two years later. And truly, that is a long time when it comes to children and development and best practices across the board. New information is learned all the time, and things that were encouraged as the best way to care for children can become obsolete quickly. One reason I am grateful for the continuing education that is required for my job is that I am able to choose classes that keep me as current as possible in infant care and development. I also enjoy reading other blogs that make me think about what I do and how I care for children, to help me give them the best possible experience.
Not everyone agrees on what is best, and that's ok. There are so many sides to every parenting and care decision out there.... No on scenario is going to be right for everyone, and that's ok. Everyone's life experience is going to give them different insights and strategies for different situations, and this will make people disagree about what is the best way to handle things that come up when caring for children. This is ok. The biggest thing I learned from this is that it gives me a chance to learn something new. I recently read aobut some different parenting philosophies that I didn't feel that I agreed with. When I read more articles about them, I found things that agreed with what I feel is best, and some things that I agreed with that I began to add into how I care for children.
Never stop learning! Never, never, ever! There is so much out there. Learn all you can, from everyone that you can. You will get so many ideas and such enthusiasm for child care from hearing different perspectives. And you never know what will come in handy. :)
Keep on learning. There is so much information available, it is insane. Birth plans, feeding, infant hygiene, introducing solids, art experiences, large motor experiences, play time experiences, sleeping arrangements- you name it, there are a million different experiences ready to give you an option for your child. Learn as much as you can, then pick and choose the parts of each that work best for you and your child, in your situation. Remember, no one way is the right way. The best way is the one that gives you, your child, and your family the most reward.
Happy learning!
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