I sure do miss the days when it worked to cuddle my babies to sleep. We would snuggle and rock, or cuddle up in the mom and dad bed, and it was the best time. Their sweet little faces, the warm weight of them tucked in my arms. There is nothing like it for me. But the time came when the extra evening attention would keep them awake when they needed to be sleeping, so adjustments had to be made. All part of the growing up story.
Now, I think we have a great bedtime routine down. Lots of stories, followed by a trip to the bathroom and brushing teeth. A little drink of water, then the tuck-ins and kisses. I like the idea of a bedtime prayer, but as we are not the most religious, I found a poem that works quite well for us. We do that, then say thank you for one thing that made each one happy that day, then one last I love you. Such special moments.
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There are many things to consider when bedtime comes around, but one thing that seems to be commonly agreed on is that a regular routine can make all the difference for parents and children in how well children are able to fall asleep and stay asleep. Tired children have much more trouble processing new information, can cause health and emotional issues, and can delay a child's development. (2) Helping them to get the sleep they need can make such a critical difference in their lives.
A few things that I found most helpful when setting the bedtime routine for my children were:
1. Counting backwards from the time I needed to have them up so that we could be ready to leave for our day. I have a 6:30am start time at work. We need to be walking out the door by 6:10 to get there on time and be ready to go. This means that the children need to be up no later than 5:30 to be able to get dressed, packed, have a quick snack, and be ready to go. Going to bed at 7:00pm allows them about 30 minutes to be restless and wind down, so that they can get 10 hours of sleep overnight. The two youngest make up their other 1-2 hours of sleep with their naps at daycare.
2. Having a special toy, lovey, or blanket in their bed with them. When the children were able to transition to a toddler bed, we would allow them a small snuggly toy to go to bed with them. But the toy had to be going to sleep too. It couldn't play with them while they were trying to sleep. And this did help them from time to time, as they would be helping their toy fall asleep, and it would soothe them to sleep as well.
3. Using the same words as we say good night to the children. There is little variation in what I say when I am tucking the children in, and they are able to associate the words with bedtime. Consistency is key!
4. Keeping the room calm, quiet, and low key. We do not have TV in the kids' rooms, and at this point don't plan to. There is so much research out there showing the negative correlations between television and sleeping habits of children; I just don't want to risk it. (I am not saying that no child should ever have a TV in their room, or that a parent who chooses to do so is not thinking of the best interests of their child.) We don't have a lot of pictures on the walls of their bedrooms, and we do have CD players in their rooms with a CD of lullaby music to help them tune out what might be going on in the rest of the house, as well as to give them that auditory cue that it is time to sleep.
5. Routine! I think this is the most important part of helping my kids get the sleep they need. Doing the same things in the same order lets them know what to expect, and makes it less stressful all around.
Learning to enjoy sleep, the way it takes care of our minds and bodies, may be one of the most important things we teach our children. No matter the routine you pick, knowing what is best for your child and your family is the most important bedtime story of all.
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