Being a Bossy Mom

"You're a bossy mom."

My little man muttered this at me during a conversation this afternoon.  I already can't remember what the instigating conversation was about, but he had been told no to something, and had whined at me.  One thing that I sure don't care for (especially from my older munchkins) is being whined at. I get that whining is a common phase of development for young children, but it can be taught that there are better and more respectful ways to communicate than whining. So, being called a bossy mom for correcting his tone shouldn't have been too unexpected.

After I thought about it for a while, I realized that yes, in fact, I probably am a bossy mom. I insist that my children speak to me respectfully, as do my best to do the same.  There are times that I pull out the "Because I'm mom and I said so," but that's usually after several times of asking/telling/explaining- and I expect them to listen anyway, even if the reason is only because I'm the mom. I expect them to pick up after themselves, and do several simple chores around the house.  I expect them to be (age appropriately) respectful of each other- to take turns with and without prompting, to not take toys that they know will upset another, to help each other out. I expect them to try the foods that are put in front of them at meal times, and not simply spit if they are determined not to like it.

But on the flip side of all this, I expect them to grow into the understanding that these expectations were made with their best interests in mind. Knowing how to speak in a respectful way helps children grow into adults who are able to listen and articulate their point more clearly, and in a way that others are kore likely to listen to. And it will help them with current/future teachers and employers.  Following through on their chores teaches them responsibility for their belongings, as well as a sense of teamwork to accomplish a goal. Learning to be respectful of each other teaches them to empathize and get along with their peers, friends, and future co-workers. Trying new things, and understanding appropriate responses also prepares them for future success, and teaches them that trying new things can turn out better than they expect.  I've lost count of the number of times I've heard one of my kiddos insist they hate something on their plate, only to ask for seconds minutes later.

One of my biggest wishes for my children is for them to grow into caring, responsible adults. I just can't see that happening if I (and my husband and their teachers and extended village) don't model and insist on practicing respect and responsibility now. Children learn what they live. Make time for all the awesome fun, but insist on your values. It's much easier to teach now than undo the habits you don't want later to teach the values that are important to you and your family.

I'll be a bossy mom any day.