The Loss of Discipline...

I recently saw this image on one of the Facebook pages I follow.  I have to admit, it made me sad to see.  So many people see or think of discipline as punishment for a child, when the full scope of discipline is so much more.  Truly, the last line- "providing conditions in which a child can realize his or her full human potential"- is one of the best definitions of discipline for children I have seen.

Discipline is providing structure and routine for a child.  Children need structure in their day.  They thrive on knowing what comes next, that they can trust you to be there, that there is predictability in their lives. Discipline allows you to tell your child that there are limits, there are routines for the things you do, that you can be trusted to be a safe place for them.

Discipline is letting a child know that there are expectations for him or her.  Each family, community, culture all have their own expectations for everyone who is a member- including children.  Discipline lets you teach your child what those expectations are, and how to succeed at and within them.  It lets you teach your child that there are times when they must wear clothes, there are places for using the bathroom, that we need to take turns for the safety and well-being of everyone.  When children are in group settings (like child care or school), there are expectations for learning.  If your child has no concept of discipline, in increases the chances of the child having a harder time interacting with the group and taking advantage of the learning opportunities offered.

Discipline allows a child to know how to interact with others.  It provides the framework for culturally appropriate communication rituals.  When children don't have clear boundaries (discipline!), it can lead to a child being overly affectionate or to hang back in the wrong situations. It teaches a child when a hand shake is more appropriate than a hug, the space we leave between friends or strangers, and the words we use when we speak to the different people in our lives.

Discipline tells a child we will keep them safe.  There are expectations for how we interact with other people, for how we interact with our environment. Offering appropriate discipline tells a child, "I won't let you hurt yourself and others.  I will help you learn how to be safe. I will help you learn about being a friend."

Discipline is not synonymous with punishment. Discipline is providing the expectations and framework for growth and learning.