Man... It’s been just over a year since I felt the pull to sit down and write to you. Oops!
It’s been a crazy year of the usual ups and downs of mom-ing and working and bills and all the other stuff that has to be done. There have been moments that I’ve followed thoughts that would have been great to share, and I promise to make a better effort to write it out to post. There were some good ones...
The thought that prompted this writing moment happened yesterday morning. A couple weeks ago, I told the kids they could each invite a friend over for a sleepover this past Friday. (Crazy, right. Volunteering for 6 kids, 7-11 years old? But it actually has gone pretty smoothly the couple times we’ve done these sleepovers.) So, we have tons of games, art supplies, stuff to play with and do, plus the usual assorted tech of tablets, WiFi only phones, and a Wii. The big kid and his friend had some fun with tablets and then asked for a game on the Wii. Sure, but not all night, because the other kids are gonna want a turn too.
Well, after about an hour, I could tell it was time for them to be done. Some bickering about the game, another pair of kids wanting their turn... time to find something else, guys. No, not back to the tablets. Remember all the other stuff we have?
This transition away from tech was (and usually is) hard for my big kid. And it showed. Can’t we just? But what about that? After this next 10 minites? No, dude. Your friend is here for face to face interaction, not side by side interaction with tech as a bridge. Proud mom moment of sticking to the limit through his stress. It was HARD!
Saturday morning rolls around, and I’m sitting on the couch while the kids play, and my big kid comes by and says, “Mommy, I’m really sorry for how I acted last night” and goes back to his friend. And right there, I realized all he needs from me is to just be there to hold the line of our healthy limits. That’s all. I totally thought there was something I was missing, something I was supposed to be doing for him to help with these swings and anger and demands. And all he needs is me to be there and love him.
It’s been such a revelation, I’m still getting used to it. I know there will be times we both still slip, but hopefully this will help me remember he just needs that love and support, and I don’t have to fix it.
Maybe that’s so,etching you needed somewhere in your life too. You don’t have to fix it all... you just have to be there for the ones who need you to show up.
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